That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
