i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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