your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
