you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
