I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
