As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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