why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
