Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
