He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize