o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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