I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
