I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Randomize
