I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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