I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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