Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
