I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
