Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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