wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
