i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
