Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
