Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
