I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just blew my weed a kiss
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize