Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
