I'm going to jail i love you
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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