You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
