What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize