we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
