Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
