I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
