We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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