Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize