An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
