I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I look better un-naked...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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