if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize