You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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