I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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