Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize