They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
