i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize