Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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