i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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