his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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