i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
