pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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