I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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