just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
