I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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