Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
