forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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