Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
