Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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