just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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