If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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