i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
