I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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