Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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