Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize