you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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