You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize