it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
