so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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