Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
