I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
