So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
