I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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