The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
