Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I could make wine with my vomit
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
