I just cut my nipple shaving
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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