She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
