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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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