is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
