if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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