no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
