Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
